~~ finding the real fransi ~~ Part Two ~~ entry point: Toronto

I sit in a bookstore in the suburbs outside of Washington, DC.   My favorite thing to do on a Sunday when I am in town.... to sit and dream or sketch or browse online.  

An expression of my independence: to do what I want.. when I want.. as long as I want.. A scene of contentment.

Today I open a little journal.
 Paging past the poetry in progress and lists of phrasings to be employed one day. Past rough sketch entries... inspiration reminders.

I come to the first page of notes recorded during my recent solo vacation (where I want).

It is the emission from my mind ..from behind closed eyes.. as I realized the plane's wheel-wells had been opened.  

This entry needs only to be transcribed here:

~~~April 18 2009~~~~~

TORONTO

What touches me?
It is immediate, instantaneous, spontaneous
The trigger point of my emotions
It is here that my depth resides
It is here that I find my most secret soul
It is the place of my passion, my center, my constance, my core

How will I survive this trip?
What will be the end of it?
Will I be able to leave?
Will it disappoint this time?

I didn't even see it!
I FELT it!
It GRABS me in my very being, the pit of my stomach.

I don't want to cry (I do)
There is no pain.. no joy upon which to focus my thoughts.
(What is emotion --tears, laughter, fear, anger?)

Is it my potential being released?

AN ENERGY !!